This is Funny

Some humor for you

JC Understands The Dynamics | Bustednuckles

Thanks Feral Irishman

Humor

Some fun for us guys

Why it’s good to be a Man

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase .

You can open all of your own jars.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes

One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

From crosswalk.com

Cat Leap Fail

This is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen.

I wish no harm to cats, but I am not a fan of the beasts.

Cats don’t have owners, they have staff.

What A Difference

What a difference a few decades means.  So true, and the change is actually more rapid than indicated at the link. I remember get the thirde degree from my folks when my grades fell off and I was in grade school in the early '70's.

Humor

I know that many of my readers are also readers of Patrice’s Rural Revolution blog, but just in case you missed or are one of the few who have not discovered her site I think you’ll enjoy this link.

Humor - "I Vote Democrat Because..."

I’m sure that many, it not all, of you have seen this. But it bears repeating.

Top 12 reasons people vote democrat:

1) I voted democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

2) I vote democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3) I voted democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4) I voted democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5) I voted democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

6) I voted democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

7) I voted democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

8) I voted democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

9) I voted democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.

10) I voted democrat because I think that it’s better to billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle of gopher.

11) I voted democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “Hope and Change.”

12) I voted democrat because my head is do firmly in wonderland, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.

The really good thing about this list is that it gives you a readi-made list of places to start when discussing politics with a liberal/democrat/progressive.

Example:

You: I really think we need to open up more areas for oil and gas exploration.

Liberal: We can't do that. What about the poor (fill in the animal or plant of their choice)?

You: Well, I guess we can continue to send money to countries that sponsor terrorism. You do know those terrorist hate everything about the US don't you? They even hate liberals even more because of some of the things you stand for. etc., etc., etc.

Shout out to ScottyBil for sending this to me.

Humor

Got this in an e-mail. I think you all will enjoy it. It is a bit dated, but still funny. And quite possibly true!

Queen’s riddle

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England.

He asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can to me?”

“Well,” Said the Queen, “The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Obama frowned, and then asked, “But how to I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.”

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, “Yes, Your Majesty?”

The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please, Tony, you mother and father have a child. It is not your brother, and it is not your sister.”

“Who is it?” the Queen asked.

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be me.”

“Yes, very good,” said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. “Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother, and it is not your sister.”

“Who is it?” asked the President.

“I’m not sure,” said Biden. “Let me get back to you on that one.” He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him and answer.

Finally, Biden ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother, and it is not your sister.”

“Who is it?” asked the Vice-President.

Sarah Palin answered right back, “That’s easy, it’s me.”

Biden smiled, and said, “Thanks!” Then, he went back to speak with Obama. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Sarah Palin!”

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face.

“No!

“You Idiot!

“It’s Tony Blair!”

Humor

As the father of two teenage boys, I found this a tad bit amusing.

Corn Maze for Blondes

Found this on my Facebook page, then elsewhere. Gonna give credit here.

Beyond funny

God's Children

This was sent to me by a loyal reader. I hope you enjoy it.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students…

Here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and eve.

And the first thing He said was: “DON’T!”

“Don’t What?” Adam replied.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit” God said.

“Forbidden fruit?”

“We have forbidden fruit?”
“Hey Eve, we have forbidden fruit!”

“No Way!”

“Yes, way!”

Do NOT eat the forbidden fruit!” said God.

“Why?”

“Because I am your father and I said so!” God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and he was ticked!

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked.

“Un huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?” said the Father.

“I don’t know.” said Eve.

“She started it!” Adam said.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”
“DID NOT!”

Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was the Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

The moral?

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be too hard on yourself.

If God had troubles raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing you own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.

Some Fun

Only post tonight, I am tired. A friend of mine sent this to me.

Humor

Received this in an e-mail the other day. The language is a bit colorful, but my wife thought it was funny.  Hope you do too.

Chevy Truck

I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 2011, 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...

The salesman (a man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that
the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership... Damn guy had no sense of humor.

Humor

This was sent to me by a reader. I had to post it.

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary guy,” he said to her, “But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.”

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Humor

Very funny joke over at Rural Revolution. Cowboy Up!

Humor

Whether you consider yourself a cowboy, an independent cuss, or just plain folks, I think you will like this.  It was sent to me by a good friend.  Thanks Pro.

Cowboy rules for the folks out west:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 I-40 & I-70 go east and west, I-17  I-15 & I-25 goe north and south. Pick one and go.
 

Some Doggone Fun

My dad sent this to me. It looks like it is from a show on Animal Planet.  Stating the obvious, I guess.  Anyway, enjoy!

Humor (Funny Golf Stuff)

If you are a golfer, or know a golfer, you have to click this link.  Scroll down to “Ron on Golf”

Small Towners, You Know Who You Are (Humor)

Here is a list for those who grew up in a small town. Most of you small-towners will recognize these, although some are a bit dated.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what “4-H” means.

3) You went to parties in a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road.  On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted (See #6).

4) You used to ‘drag’ Main.

Humor: If You Were Born Between 1939 - 1979

No matter what our kids and the new generation thinks about us:

 WE ARE AWESOME!!!!

OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF!!!

To Those of Us Born 1928 – 1979

At the end of this e-mail is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.  If you don’t read anything else, please read what he said

Very well stated Mr. Leno

To All the Kids Who Survived the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

How Two States Deal with Coyotes

This was posted over at Rural Revolution, and with their kind permission I’m posting here for my readers enjoyment.  When done, please go visit.

California:

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.  A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state @200 testing it diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases fro