Thursday, February 17, 2011

How Two States Deal with Coyotes

This was posted over at Rural Revolution, and with their kind permission I’m posting here for my readers enjoyment.  When done, please go visit.

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.  A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state @200 testing it diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases fro
m the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $200,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funs implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $250,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

South Dakota:
The Governor of South Dakota is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and South Dakota is not.

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